SPECIAL EDITION: ADHD and medication
My journey with medication and thoughts on the newest inflammatory federal actions
Medication was not my first option. It wasn’t my second, third, or fourth.
It took decades, not years, for me to move beyond the stigma I’d always associated with medication, especially those relied on for mental health reasons.
“People who take medication are lazy and don’t want to do the work.”
“Medication is harmful and habit-forming.”
“Who wants to mess with their natural brain chemistry? Medication can change your whole personality.”
“The side effects of medication are often worse than what they’re treating.”
“What happens when the medications stops working. Are they just going to keep taking more?”
“Big pharma just wants everyone drugged up now adays.”
Where these misconceptions came from, I’m not entirely sure, but I internalized them and stumbled over them every time I went to the doctor and medication was suggested.
When - out of desperation to rid myself of recurring panic attacks - I finally tried medication for anxiety prescribed to me by my PCP, it helped a little. Hydroxyzine. Even then, I remember telling family and friends, “it’s just an antihistamine,” like I was somehow different than those who needed the “real” anxiety meds. Was it the perfect medication for me? No. I didn’t love the side effects, but after breaking the seal, I was open to trying others.
After my official ADHD diagnosis, I found myself under the care of an actual psychiatrist for the first time in my life. I had to admit I felt like I was finally going to have some continuity of care after years of feeling ignored and not knowing where to turn. I was able to try various medications to see what worked with my body chemistry and alleviated my issues.
When I tried a stimulant, it helped quite a bit! Concerta. I was able to concentrate, I was more productive, and I had a stable mood throughout the day. The problem was I struggled to take it the same time every day, and therefore, would feel the impact of it wearing off. I also felt a bit keyed up, like I’d had too much caffeine, and it made me talk too much.
My solution was an ADHD medication in the antidepressant class - a serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor or SNRI. Again, I found myself loving that is was “non-habit-forming” unlike the stimulant, like somehow the little pill I took to function optimally was better than someone else’s.
The stigma fog around the taking of stimulants is a dense one to cut through. It took me finding an online community of women with ADHD to understand that medication is medication is medication.
And what works for one person might not be the right fit for another and vice versa. In a group chat of 15 women, every single one of us was on a different combination of medications: stimulants, nonstimulants, SSRIs, SNRIs, NDRIs, and the list goes on. What mattered was, we all had access to try them and the opportunity to see what worked best for us.
…………..
The first time I took my nonstimulant, I heard angels singing. Atomoxetine. Aside from a choir of cherubs, I actually, for the first time ever, heard NOTHING. No more racing thoughts, no more catastrophizing, no more negative self-talk, no more ruminating. It was lovely.
I finally felt like MYSELF, like I’d unearthed from underneath a heaping pile of shit, a buried treasure — and the treasure was ME.
The one regret I had after taking the medication was that I hadn’t found it sooner. In many ways, my life began when I started taking it.
Since I’ve been on my nonstimulant (nearly three years now), I’ve added 5mg of Lexapro (a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor or SSRI) daily to help boost the non-stimulant’s effectiveness during the week before my period, when I would often feel a return of my ADHD symptoms and struggle with symptoms of premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD).
I’m the healthiest and happiest I’ve ever been. While medication is just one element of my ADHD management, it’s probably the most important.
Just two little pills a day, and I’m able to:
Concentrate on and participate fully in my work
Tackle the executive functioning tasks of managing a home with ease (meal planning, laundry, inventory, organizing, cooking, finances, packing for trips, coordinating schedules, etc.)
Be the kind of mom I want to be, handling the stressors and unpredictability of motherhood with patience and poise (kids being sick, fighting, or having bad days, etc.)
Create and keep positive habits (eating regular meals, going to bed at the same time every night, exercising, etc.)
Be more present and mindful in my decisions, interactions and relationships
Feel a steady flow of energy in a single day and throughout the month
Accept and love myself
Experience calm, stable moods, and joy in my everyday life
I can’t imagine not having access to these life-changing drugs.
…………..
I’d be lying if I said I knew what was going to happen. The fate of these medicines - along with that of the rest of our healthcare system - remains unclear. But I do know that language matters. Words matter.
The recent executive order by the Trump Administration said a “Make Our Children Healthy Again” assessment should be prepared within 100 days that examines “the prevalence of and threat posed by the prescription of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, stimulants, and weight-loss drugs.”
According to an article in The Washington Post, “The directive comes as children and teens endure a mental health crisis exacerbated by the coronavirus pandemic.”
In a report by a local Seattle news station, Ohio pediatrician Dr. Chris Peltier, who works with Pediatrics Associates of Mount Carmel and served as the immediate past president of the Ohio Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics said, “Most of these medicines are the most well-studied medicines in pediatrics.” Dr. Peltier said research for stimulants and SSRIs goes back decades. As far as conducting any new studies, Dr. Peltier said there is “no way” that it could be done in 100 days.
The words used in the EO about SSRIs and stimulant medications are harmful. It not only reveals the biased intention of the research — to uncover reasons to deter people from relying on these medications— but it also reinforces the existing stigma.
Stigma kills. Additionally, the EO doesn’t take into account a primary reason for rising rates of ADHD diagnoses, which has been increased access to information and care for women, children and minorities.
My message to anyone who takes any type of prescription to help them function in this world: there’s nothing wrong with being a person who relies on medication to support a healthy and happy life for yourself or your kids.
I’m not ashamed to be one of them.
For another incredibly enlightening perspective on this, I recommend this article in ADDitude Magazine.
And try to take in the news and every issue at stake, like you do your meds: in small doses and one at a time. ; )